As fathers, if we are willing to hold presence The Present Father™ , our children will find a way to receive what they need from us. Our presence and the consciousness we bring to our relationships with our children, becomes a context that defines our ability to father. So what does it mean to “hold presence?”
One of several “tools” I would suggest I call, Gifting Consciousness. When I am with my son, I attempt to place him at the center of my awareness and communicate to the best of my ability the life and vitality that is within me. I am aware of my ability to place this awareness into my relationship with him, while I am sorting through the distractions which diminish my attention.
The other day, while my son and I were visiting a friend and colleague, something occurred having to do with a project we were working on which made me realize how much more was required before we could deliver a proposal we had been developing. On the way home, distracted, my son asked me what I was thinking about. Sorting through my pre-occupation, I briefly shared my concerns. Then, with some effort, returned to our discussion of how we were going to continue to spend our day together. His prompting me to clarifying for him my distraction, allowed us to reconnect and continue to breathe life … together. If I am distracted, I communicate distraction. If I am dull, I communicate my dullness. If I am present, I communicate my presence and the life of our relationship finds us.
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