If we stop for a moment prior to just one communication we make today, we could ask ourselves; “what outcome am I after with this person?” With this simple consideration, we bring consciousness to our intention, and shift the locus of control from the external to the internal. As we proceed with the communication, and pay close attention to how the other person is receiving our words and behaviors, we adjust accordingly and shape the communication toward our intended conclusion. Bandler was perhaps the first to articulate this lesson from Milton Erikson, one of the most accomplished communicators of the last century: ”The meaning of your communication is the response that you get. If you can notice that you are not getting what you want, Change what you’re doing. But in order to notice that, you have to clearly distinguish between what you are getting from the outside, and how you are interpreting that material in a complex manner at the unconscious level, contributing to it by your own internal state.” (Bandler and Grinder, 1979, p.61)
Take a moment to reflect on all of your communications today. Notice your intention, but believe in the results you are getting. If you are not satisfied with the outcome, do anything differently. Be willing to adjust to achieve your goals.
Bandler, Richard and Grinder, John. (1979). In John O. Stevens(Ed.). Frogs into Princes: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Moab, UT: Real People Press.
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