While working with senior management over the past years, one quality of leadership emerges as an absolute necessity for successful communication and organizational well-being: empathy. I define empathy as: a capacity to experience the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of other people while simultaneously differentiating one’s own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This quality or capacity is something that many people naturally possess. However, under the stress of running an organization, over long periods of time, necessity often trumps propriety. What is responsible for successful development of the organization – cooperative effort – is moved to the background and “efficiency” and controls in response to the “bottom line” push mutual regard into the shadows.

As this occurs, there is a decrease in human connection and communication resulting in the diminishment of empathy. Eventually, this allows a split to emerge and the fractured parts silo and begin to function independently of the whole. Individuals, departments and teams tend toward functioning in service of their independent objectives often antithetical to the well-being of other departments and the organization as a whole.

The devolution of an organization can be successfully corrected through cultivating empathy as a conscious antidote to organizational dysfunction.

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“It is good to listen. If you listen carefully, without always passing judgment, you will enter into the very heart of the creature to whom you pay attention. You will begin to grow the flowers of your soul. Then all of nature will whisper to you her secrets.” (p. 161)

Michael, E.J. (1995).  Queen of the sun:  A modern revelation.  San Francisco:  Harper Collins.

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“In order to attain clear understanding, it is necessary to live mindfully, making direct contact with life in the present moment, truly seeing what is taking place within and outside of oneself. Practicing mindfulness strengthens the ability to look deeply, and when we look deeply into the heart of anything, it will reveal itself.” (Thich Nhat Hanh, 1991, p. 120-121)

Thich Nhat Hanh. (1991). Old path white clouds: Walking in the footsteps of the Buddha. Berkeley, CA: Parallax.

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Empathic Resonance is a term I use for making sure that when you sit at the table, you - the business person, designer, engineer, facilitator, innovator or design thinker are capable of speaking the same language and embodying the same feelings that others are using to interpret your message.

Acting from isolation, while looking like you are empathizing, is not only confusing but counter-productive to the flow of the communication. Empathic Resonance, on the other hand, is a felt sense that you are only part, albeit an essential part, of the formula for successful communication. The other person is, of course, as important. Each of these crucial elements, self and other, needs to self adjust and self maintain to ensure that your awareness of your participation is in equal measure to your awareness of the participation of the “other” so that your communication is successful.

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Are you skillful in running your organization? If so, then you draw from the best resources you have – yours and your employees’ years of experience. However, do you exercise prudence in your application of these resources?

“What is prudence? It is the ability to grasp the unique pattern of a specific situation. It is the ability to absorb the vast flow of information and still discern the essential current of events – the things that go together and the things that will never go together. It is the ability to engage in complex deliberations and feel which arguments have the most weight.

How is prudence acquired? Through experience. The prudent leader possesses a repertoire of events, through personal involvement or the study of history, and can apply those models to current circumstances to judge what is important and what is not, who can be persuaded and who can’t, what has worked and what hasn’t.” -David Brooks

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All of us function within our perceived limitations, unconsciously sorting what we think we can do and all that we assume we can not. These mental constructs directly influence our success, and not always for the better. This is particularly true in our relationships. If we can create more space around the way we think of ourselves and how we perceive others, we open the mind to seeing more clearly what is really possible. Open minds – open possibility in our relationships – and naturally invite new choice.

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Reduce variability:
Develop a consistent method for assessing your interaction with others while maintaining a disciplined approach to managing and improving your performance.

Know what is going on in the room:
Value can be created whenever you interact with another person. Develop curiosity about the value of each interaction and employ a relational readiness that encourages open and genuine connection.

Develop a clear understanding of the people you interact with:
Build rapport through an enhanced ability to connect and learn to maintain high quality feedback of emotional, cognitive, and behavioral information.

Be free to express yourself:
Acquire knowledge without self-limiting interference. Be able to distinguish between your perceptions and your projections.

Negotiate barriers:
Understand the dynamic variables at play when challenged to face the limitations of your motivation and performance.

Manage what is on the table:
Develop the vigor to implement and stick-to-task.
Find the deep motivation required for sustained performance.

Understand the value of obstacles:
Allow compassion and cultivate the ability to maintain high quality honesty and presence while facing daily challenges. Encourage a capacity for relational trust and confidence.

Increase the quality and depth of the culture:
Function with an awakened mind and an enlivened heart.

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“If I have a chance at the time of my death to take an accounting of what I’ve done, I won’t be asking how enlightened I’ve become, I’ll be asking how much kindness I’ve shown to others.” – Lin Jeson

As conscious beings, we can develop an understanding of how to proceed with our daily responsibilities by receiving guidance from the teachings of others. Lin Jeson reminds us of the importance of kindness as exemplified by the Buddha; he ”set out walking the earth not in quest of enlightenment but in search of a means to end the suffering he saw all about him. If I ever hope to realize a generous, loving, merciful, nonviolent human society, I too must carry on the daily practice of generosity, love, mercy and nonviolence that the Buddha set in motion. This is the practical and ordinary work of the bodhisattva.” (more) Perhaps, our enlightenment comes in a brief flash of kindness where we reveal and are revealed by, that which informs our oneness.

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