Empathic Resonance is a term I use for making sure that when you sit at the table, you - the business person, designer, engineer, facilitator, innovator or design thinker are capable of speaking the same language and embodying the same feelings that others are using to interpret your message.

Acting from isolation, while looking like you are empathizing, is not only confusing but counter-productive to the flow of the communication. Empathic Resonance, on the other hand, is a felt sense that you are only part, albeit an essential part, of the formula for successful communication. The other person is, of course, as important. Each of these crucial elements, self and other, needs to self adjust and self maintain to ensure that your awareness of your participation is in equal measure to your awareness of the participation of the “other” so that your communication is successful.

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Are you skillful in running your organization? If so, then you draw from the best resources you have – yours and your employees’ years of experience. However, do you exercise prudence in your application of these resources?

“What is prudence? It is the ability to grasp the unique pattern of a specific situation. It is the ability to absorb the vast flow of information and still discern the essential current of events – the things that go together and the things that will never go together. It is the ability to engage in complex deliberations and feel which arguments have the most weight.

How is prudence acquired? Through experience. The prudent leader possesses a repertoire of events, through personal involvement or the study of history, and can apply those models to current circumstances to judge what is important and what is not, who can be persuaded and who can’t, what has worked and what hasn’t.” -David Brooks

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All of us function within our perceived limitations, unconsciously sorting what we think we can do and all that we assume we can not. These mental constructs directly influence our success, and not always for the better. This is particularly true in our relationships. If we can create more space around the way we think of ourselves and how we perceive others, we open the mind to seeing more clearly what is really possible. Open minds – open possibility in our relationships – and naturally invite new choice.

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Reduce variability:
Develop a consistent method for assessing your interaction with others while maintaining a disciplined approach to managing and improving your performance.

Know what is going on in the room:
Value can be created whenever you interact with another person. Develop curiosity about the value of each interaction and employ a relational readiness that encourages open and genuine connection.

Develop a clear understanding of the people you interact with:
Build rapport through an enhanced ability to connect and learn to maintain high quality feedback of emotional, cognitive, and behavioral information.

Be free to express yourself:
Acquire knowledge without self-limiting interference. Be able to distinguish between your perceptions and your projections.

Negotiate barriers:
Understand the dynamic variables at play when challenged to face the limitations of your motivation and performance.

Manage what is on the table:
Develop the vigor to implement and stick-to-task.
Find the deep motivation required for sustained performance.

Understand the value of obstacles:
Allow compassion and cultivate the ability to maintain high quality honesty and presence while facing daily challenges. Encourage a capacity for relational trust and confidence.

Increase the quality and depth of the culture:
Function with an awakened mind and an enlivened heart.

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“If I have a chance at the time of my death to take an accounting of what I’ve done, I won’t be asking how enlightened I’ve become, I’ll be asking how much kindness I’ve shown to others.” – Lin Jeson

As conscious beings, we can develop an understanding of how to proceed with our daily responsibilities by receiving guidance from the teachings of others. Lin Jeson reminds us of the importance of kindness as exemplified by the Buddha; he ”set out walking the earth not in quest of enlightenment but in search of a means to end the suffering he saw all about him. If I ever hope to realize a generous, loving, merciful, nonviolent human society, I too must carry on the daily practice of generosity, love, mercy and nonviolence that the Buddha set in motion. This is the practical and ordinary work of the bodhisattva.” (more) Perhaps, our enlightenment comes in a brief flash of kindness where we reveal and are revealed by, that which informs our oneness.

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When I consider my personal goals in my work; it is to bring each individual to their true self . . . and then give them the tools to realize who they are within their own environmental context, which means their immediate life situation.

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I was recently reminded of what Don Juan said in Tales of Power; “The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything either as a blessing or a curse.” As I prepare my work for a week of business clients, I face the familiar struggle; to move the work into a place where I can embrace it as a challenge; knowing what to do is sometimes as important as knowing how to do it.
Ref: Gerber, Michael E.: (2001). The E-Myth Revisited: Why most small businesses don’t work and what to do about it. New York: Harper Business.

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How do we bring ourselves into internal alignment? We hear about helpful techniques for this. However, most mornings we begin our day tired, not quite prepared, and things seem out of focus. I assume if you have some type of “practice,” and have the time and determination to meditate, sit, do yoga, walk, write, read, work-out, or run you may feel pretty together.

There are other days that you don’t “practice,” and even if you do you may still feel not-quite-together. What do you do then? How do you proceed with the day? This is not about tomorrow or when we have more time, but now. I would like to hear from you about what you do.

Note: Often humor works or sometimes a quote from my research is enough to pull me together. Today I read: “My grandfather was different: he was old, smiling, gentle and in a constant state of love with me . . . he knew that the world of the very young and of the very old is essentially the same, namely a world of miracles one is about to discover or to lose.” (Muller, 2005, p. 103).

Muller, Robert. (2005). Most of all they taught me happiness. Los Angeles, CA: Amare Media.

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 Consciously Participating in . . . Change

“When this happens, the field shifts, and the forces shaping a situation can move from re-creating the past to manifesting or realizing an emerging future. . . . In esoteric Christian traditions such shifts are associated with ‘grace’ or ‘revelation’ or the Holey Spirit.’ Taoist theory speaks of the transformation of vital energy (qing, pronounced ‘ching’) into subtle life force (qi, pronounced ‘chi’), and into spiritual energy (shin). This process involves an essential quieting of the mind that Buddhists call ‘cessation,’ wherein the normal flow of thoughts ceases and the normal boundaries between self and world dissolve. In Hindu traditions, this shift is called wholeness or oneness. In the mystic traditions of Islam, such as Sufism, it is known simply as ‘opening the heart.’ Each tradition describes this shift a little differently, but all recognize it as being central to personal cultivation or maturation.” (Senge, p. 14)

Senge, Peter, Scharmer, C. Otto, Jaworski, Joseph, Flowers, Betty Sue. (2004). Presence: An exploration of profound change in people, organizations, and society. New York: Currency, Doubleday.

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For some time, you have been aware of an employee who is underperforming or of a situation involving disruptive personality-conflicts. You may have several initiatives in place to address what has now become a critical issue. And still you find yourself thinking about it, talking about it, yet with little forward movement. The problem is consuming too much time, energy, and consideration, yet remains unresolved. You need to refocus on developing your business and leveraging your resources and you recognize that you need help to resolve this issue and move forward.

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