My purpose is to help people Rest within a Sense of Wholeness™.  One of the most vital applications of my purpose is what I call The Present Father™.

In my doctoral thesis on Fathering, I open by quoting N. R. Gibbs from a Time Magazine article in 1993: “More children will go to sleep tonight in a fatherless home than ever in the nation’s history.” Gibbs said this more than 17 years ago, a haunting statement that is even truer today.

The absent father shows up all too frequently in my one-on-one sessions with clients, often as the source of debilitating behavior, depression, self sabotage, unhealthy relationships, and other destructive patterns. Furthermore, many of today’s social challenges – increasing crime rates, substance abuse, physical abuse, and racial and economic disparity – are also rooted in the absent father.

As a man who experienced the absent father throughout his life, as a scholar with extensive research on the topic of Fathering, and as a father, I know we can heal the pain of the absent father.

I am referring to healing the pain that comes from:

• Having a father physically there yet absent in other manners.
• Literally not having a father physically present.

In healing the pain, we reverse the negative effects of a fatherless society and restore The Present Father™ for generations to come.

For me, the healing took place when I chose to show up as a father – The Present Father™. There was no historical basis to inform me, no one to look up to, no place that I knew of in the culture to guide me. I had to discover what fathering meant through my relationship to my child. I would listen to my child’s needs and respond. In that same moment, I would also grieve, letting go of the wounds from the relationship with my own father.

As I began sharing my stories of being The Present Father™ with clients, colleagues, and friends, I saw that it helped them recognize and understand the pain they too felt as a child. In hearing my stories, they were able to identify where their fathers were not present, to grieve and recover from their sense of loss without having to actually parent a child.

The Present Father™ encompasses guidance, techniques and tools on fathering, stories that inspire fathering, one-on-one fathering sessions and seminars available via webcast. My book will be released in 2011, and until then, you can read more about The Present Father™ on my blog.

If you are interested in a one-on-one session or would like to participate in a seminar, please contact me by clicking here.